Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
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This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
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Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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