I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
