Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
