Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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