She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize