No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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