Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
