There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
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