He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
