Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Randomize