Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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