i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Randomize
