We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
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