They should really pass out barf bags in church
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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