woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Randomize
