If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
You should frame my arrest warrant.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
