We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
