I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
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Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
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She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
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