When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
