the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
