I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
