Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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