every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
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happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
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