oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Randomize
