having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize