You don't have asthma, your pregnant
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
