I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
