I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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