Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
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