On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Randomize
