Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Randomize
