Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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