Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize