This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
