Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Randomize
