yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
What a fucking waste of an outfit
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
