dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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