I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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