ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
27 People Confess The Worst Jobs They’ve Ever Had
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
25 People Confess Their Terrifying Stalker Stories
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.