are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
I think this conversation is over.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.