Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?