the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
You pole danced in your parka.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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