dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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