So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize