then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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