Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Randomize
