New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Randomize
