What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
