my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
It's just like the Real World with babies
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
