are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
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