Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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