Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
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