This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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