His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize