your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Let's paint friendship bongs
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize