I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
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